


John x John together forever

by gamzonk



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Satire, Selfcest, THIS IS A JOKE OKAY PLEASE, john egbert marries himself, john finds himself too sexy 💗
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:33:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23808451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamzonk/pseuds/gamzonk
Summary: john egbert x john egbert fanfiction
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	John x John together forever

john woke up happily to his new husband, john 2. the day before they had just gotten married, making them now the perfect couple. “good morning my lovely husband,” john 2 said, “did you sleep well?” john shook his head. “no... i was thinking about you all night...” he said, winking at john 2. “aww babe you’re so sweet i love you so much.”

john and john 2 then proceed to have a makeout session.

“john you are so sexy your sexiness is too much for me to handle.” a single tear fell from john 2’s cheek, for dramatic effect. “i can’t believe i have someone like you.. to think.. dave.. could’ve taken you away from me..” john 2 sighed, but he knew he beat the competition versus dave for john’s heart. john 2 was just cool like that. his levels of uncontrollable irony were to much to the “wrath” of dave striders. dave strider was so jealous of john 2’s irony levels that he had cried when they strifed for john’s heart. 

the newly wed couple got up together, going to make breakfast. “i’m assuming you want eggs?” john 2 asked john. 200 irony points for him. get it. egg. egbert. laugh.  
“yes please.” john hummed as he went to sit at the dinning room table. as john 2 was making breakfast, john was thinking about him. ‘uhuughgghsjakdnnnnn hes so hot look at him cooking his ass is so fine uuuuuuhhhhhbnnnb i wanna slap it’. he shook his head dismissing the idea. no hornies allowed. if he was horny he knew someone would burst through the wall and stop his horniess. their god, adam sandler. adam did NOT tolerate horny thoughts. john could not be horny. after john 2 finished cooking eggs, he hand fed them to john. “I’M NOT A BABY” john screamed. “shhh... you’ll wake the baby..” 

wait.

who’s the baby?

justin bieber is their baby.

“ohhh right yeah he’s sleeping in his bedroom i kinda forgot he existed lmao” john said, going to get his daily dose of g fuel coffee. ultimate gamer drink, for an ultimate gamer.

the end.

**Author's Note:**

> this is satire please dont kill me


End file.
